The redemption of alcoholics. The year 2024 has kicked off on the PGA Tour with the victory of two players who went through hell due to their addiction: Chris Kirk and Grayson Murray. Both descended into hell due to their abuse of alcohol and both have not only emerged from the hole but have regained their best golfing form to claim victory, the former at the Sentry and the latter at the Sony.
Murray, winner at the Waialae Country Club after a playoff with Keegan Bradley and Byeong Hun An, bared his feelings as soon as he claimed his second victory on the PGA Tour, after winning the Barbasol in 2017, and had no problem opening his heart to talk about his fears, his addiction, his arrogance, the help he has needed to get out of the hole and his faith in Jesus Christ, celebrating that he has been eight months without a drop of alcohol and that he is a new man, a good man who at 30 wants to start a vital and golfing stage completely different from the past.
His words can serve as motivation for anyone who is immersed in a dark tunnel and believes that there is no light at the end of it. Murray was asked if he drank during tournaments and had no qualms about admitting that he did “at all the events I played; I thought I was invincible when I got to the PGA Tour at 22 and won in my rookie season. I played three days with a hangover when I took my first victory”, he recalls. “The best and worst thing that happened to me in life was winning in my rookie year but also feeling invincible. It took me a long time to get to this point. That was over seven years ago. I’m a different man now. I wouldn’t be in this position today if I hadn’t quit drinking eight months ago”, he confesses.
Peering into the abyss, he assures that the person he became when he drank incessantly was not really him: “I think the way I behaved was a bit arrogant at times. I think alcohol brought out a side of me that was not me. In a way, it was a kind of monster in me. Now I’m super calm. I know that the people around me knew the real Grayson. I have a big heart and I care about a lot of people”, he reveals.
He was close to throwing in the towel but thanks to his family he has pulled through: “Maybe I felt a bit sorry for myself. My parents never gave up on me, so I knew that wasn’t an option to give up. Golf has given me a lot. It has given me a lot financially. It has given me a lot to get away from the struggles of everyday life. It gives me comfort now on the course. I’m happy out there. When I come home now, it’s not about golf. It’s about my fiancée, my family and the perspective I have now is… I really can’t put it into words”.
In the interview just after winning the Sony he mentioned a quote that he has engraved in his heart: when you get tired of fighting, let someone else fight for you. “Yes, it’s a quote from Jimmy Valvano (NCAA basketball coach who died of cancer in 1993). Obviously he was fighting cancer and I wasn’t. I’m sure he had days when he felt like giving up and couldn’t go on. Maybe his family members were pushing him to keep going or maybe they fought for him and gave him a little more inspiration. I lean heavily on that quote”, he maintains.
His parents were the first to lend a hand when he was down, on “days when I didn’t want to get out of bed because I thought I was a failure. I always saw myself as a failure. I thought I had a lot of talent and that was just a waste of talent. It was a bad place, but as I said, you have to have courage. You have to have the will to keep going. And here I am, I feel very blessed and grateful”, although he does not forget that “I struggle with anxiety and depression. That was largely due to alcohol consumption. I struggle with comparing myself to others, self-esteem. There are many issues that, although I call them that, I think are common issues that we all bear. I got tired of trying to fight alone, one day I asked for help and that’s when my life changed”.
Arrogance also accompanied the player born in Raleigh (North Carolina) for years and envy, which is never a good advisor: “I felt that I had the same talent as the guys my age who made it to the PGA Tour and those who came out a year earlier, but they took off and I didn’t. So I think arrogance made me feel a bit humiliated. But I was also a bit jealous of the success of those guys, knowing that I was as good as them. Jealousy is not a good thing. I think we all have our own paths and our own ways of getting where we want to be. I’m 30 and I feel that from now on I can be the golfer I always wanted to be”, he concludes.
Word of Grayson Murray, the man who like Chris Kirk came out of the darkness and, both recovered from their alcohol addiction, have won again and, above all, have returned to life.
